When I was younger some of the other children in school thought I was weird because I didn’t wear pants. I was raised with the belief that women are not to wear clothing pertaining to a man, and that was translated to mean women should not wear pants.
Honestly, this difference made me feel like an outcast. I recall thinking, “I wish it was abnormal to wear pants so I wouldn’t seem strange.” Needless to say, I learned at an early age that being abnormal was not readily accepted. But, it also taught me that I have a choice to either conform to the opinions of others or choose to follow what I believe to be true.
It is unfortunate that the self-esteem of individuals that look and behave differently can be negatively affected due to the ignorance of others. But, the truth is – as painful as it may be, everyone is not going to accept you. Which, is why guarding our self-esteem and self-worth is so important.
One of my favorite songs is “They Can’t Take That Away from Me.” There are several renditions of the song, but I am fond of the version by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong.
As I listen to the lyrics of the song I envision someone who is in love with a person because of the little things about them. The simple act of knowing them changed their life. And regardless of what may transpire in life, the experience cannot be taken away.
This mindset should be present in our relationships with ourselves. As I stated before, everyone is not going to accept us. But, this should not hinder us from accepting ourselves. I believe within all of us there is a desire to be accepted. So why not fulfill this desire internally? The acceptance of self will eliminate the unnecessary angst toward possible rejection or feeling like an outcast.
I realize this may not be an easy task. Furthermore, it will not happen overnight. It is a process, so take it one day at a time.
A good place to start is identifying those things that you believe make you different. Once you identify them, determine how you feel about them. If you come to the conclusion that your thoughts toward your differences are negative, give thought to what is influencing these thoughts. Then consider finding ways to feel positive about them and eliminate the negative influences. If you can get to a place of positivity you can reach the level of acceptance. It all begins in the mind. Furthermore, the love and positivity you feel for yourself can only be taken away if you allow it.
Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.
Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.
-B.B.
