Keys in life, Plus-size Community

What if We Stop Allowing Others to Define Us and Start Defining Ourselves?

The above question came to my mind about two months ago. I’m not sure what I was doing at the time that caused it to surface, however I think it would be fair to say the thought derived from the knowledge of discontent with certain labels within our society.

There are a lot of people in our community who are offended by the descriptor plus-size. Some believe the term has a negative connotation. Be that as it may, I am a strong believer in demonstrating and sharing varying opinions. However, I also believe the feelings of dislike toward the label is due to the members of our society who preach about fuller-figures being unhealthy, unattractive, and even unworthy of positive affirmation by anyone including the accused. But, what if we stop allowing others to define us and start defining ourselves?

“I’ve decided that plus-size means being more than expected with a high level of quality.”

Are you wondering how I came up with this definition? Well – I looked up the term plus-size, which according to dictionary.com means an extra-large size category of clothing, especially women, a garment or person of this size, or a clothing size designed for people who are above the average size.

The definition caused several questions to form in my mind. Mainly, what is average size? How is this defined? And more importantly, who defines it? I also looked up the word plus. Which means; with the addition of, an advantage, asset, bonus, extra, attraction, perk, better than, or the most intense degree of a quality of state.

After reading both definitions, I thought about myself and considered whether or not the words I read aligned with how I see myself. I am above average; I have numerous assets that are a part of my mental, emotional, and physical being. Furthermore, I consider myself to be of high quality.

Photo credit: Ryan “Rock” Mitchell, Rockit Life Media

I would be doing myself a huge disservice if I governed my life and my opinion of myself based on how other people see me. I have the power to decide who I am as a Black woman in society – so, why would I relinquish this same power to define my physique as something negative and repulsive?

The truth of the matter is, people are going to form their opinion about me – but, that doesn’t mean I have to accept it.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B.