Some time ago I saw a message on social media that read, “Why be eye candy when you can be soul food?” I realize this is a rhetorical question, but I still think it deserves a good challenge.

To me, soul food is substance prepared with love, to provide nourishment, comfort, and strength to endure. My definition of eye candy is something that is pleasing to the eyes.

It is true that I consider myself to be “eye candy.” I’ve proclaimed the descriptor for multiple reasons, but it is mainly because I did not always see myself as someone who would be deemed beautiful. Over time I learned to embrace and accept my appearance as something good rather than a horrible misfortune.

I also consider myself to be “soul food.” I believe my experiences and willingness to share them is a form of nourishment to all who choose to listen.

I am not fond of the idea of driving someone away from claiming or even wanting to be eye candy. Simply because everyone should see themselves as attractive. And the same thing holds true for being soul food. We all have something we can share with another to encourage them. We can all be a source of strength and comfort for someone else. Even if it is just a kind word or a friendly smile. But, I am a strong believer in the need to feel good about self before we can be a help to another person. Being an example of confidence can enable someone else to find and strengthen positive thoughts about themselves.

As my mother once told me, you never know who is watching and learning something positive from you – they don’t always verbalize it, but that doesn’t mean you’re not helping them. Furthermore, you have the power to define who you are. You do not have to succumb to the ideals and opinions of others.

Let’s not view the idea of being eye candy as a shallow or conceited jester, but rather like the appetizer to a wonderfully prepared soul food meal.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B.