“She’s  a pretty girl, but she should lose a few pounds.”

As fond as I am of words, I can get pretty annoyed by the use of the word “but” as an indication of the impossibility of a full-figured woman being attractive.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about the time she was told she’s “pretty for a big girl.” (side eye) I’m not really sure why there are some people who honestly believe they are giving a compliment when they say such things.  It’s like they think mentioning we’re pretty is a consolation prize for being fat. I wonder how the person would respond if I said, “You’re pretty for an ignorant girl.” Why is being a big and beautiful woman such a shock? It is not a freak of nature.  Why does the fact that I am full-figured and beautiful surprise you? Is it because you are looking for a way to diminish my beauty? How does my size cancel out my beauty?  Newsflash – it doesn’t.

I viewed a message on my news feed that caught me off-guard. The message read, “You can be just a few extra pounds or hundreds of pounds overweight. As long as you have a curvy shape, you are big and beautiful.” Huh? So, based on this message, if you don’t have curves and you are big you’re not beautiful? Did the author consider the feelings of the women who don’t have curves?

Unfortunately, we live in a society that has the tendency to compare, judge, and find ways to belittle one another. Be that as it may, I am determined to be a voice that contradicts and overshadows those negative behaviors.  In our world there are people who like to tell those who are small they are “too small” and those who are big they are “too big.” But, I want to remind you that you don’t need to conform to the ideal of others. Be who you are proudly and confidently. As I’ve stated before, no woman should believe she is not beautiful.

The word beautiful is an adjective that means to have beauty; to have qualities that are a pleasure to see, hear, or think about. Based on this definition, we can be our own kind of beautiful. What qualities do you possess that bring you pleasure when you see, hear or think about them? Whatever they are – display them and be beautiful, no matter your size or shape because there is beauty at every size.

Until the next time be you, and most importantly love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B.