Over the past 5 months I have been struggling with my self-confidence. I gave thought to sharing this weeks ago, but I hadn’t put pen to paper, so to speak, and today I asked myself why. Could it be because of the potential vulnerability that could arise? I believe I’ve always been transparent in my writing, but now I am wondering if that was because I shared past experiences that no longer test me, or so I thought.

I strive to provide transparency in what I share, but there is a huge difference between being transparent and butt-naked. They are definitely not the same, but the line between them is paper thin. But the more I think about it, being naked has some benefits.

I honestly believed my self-confidence was firm and secure, so it surprises me to discover there are some demons still lurking around in my head. Five months ago I started a new position at work, which has been challenging. My new role involves; writing, copy-editing, proofreading, and a touch of managing people. Although I’ve never been responsible for any of these functions at this level before, the area where my confidence waivers is writing.

During these past few months there have been multiple occasions where I’ve questioned my ability to write. Have I been lying to myself? Have others been lying to me too? Do I really have what it takes to do my job or even blog? I’ve also experienced flashbacks from when I was married. I recalled being constantly told that I couldn’t do anything right, and I started to wonder if it was true.

The fear of this accusation being reality has even affected my desire to write. But, I’ve chosen to focus on the fact that I’ve gotten to this point because of my abilities, so why should I doubt them now? Furthermore, growth comes from challenges and adversity. And it is clear to me that this is happening to make me a better writer and person overall.

Once again I’ve shared another piece of me in hopes of encouraging someone. It is my desire that we all see our full potential and strive to reach it in spite of the difficulties that arise during the pursuit. I’ve come to realize the most impactful experiences of my life were also the hardest. So, let us not be weary in our journey…everything we need to reach our goals already resides within us…we just need to tap into it.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly-love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B. 💋