“When you embrace your differences, your DNA, your look or heritage or religion or your unusual name, that’s when you start to shine.”

Bethenny Frankel

What does it mean to accept oneself and how is it achieved? The majority of the posts I’ve written have some level of encouragement to accept oneself, and it is partly because I failed to do it on more than one occasion in my life. I made the mistake of borrowing the definition of beauty from others instead of creating my own. Additionally, I wasn’t wise enough to realize people who strive to make others feel small are simply acting out their insecurities.

A few days ago I stumbled upon an old post on IG that inspired me to write this blog post.

The photo in the post was taken three years ago by Ryan “Rock” Mitchell in Baltimore City. I recall being extremely happy about how well the pictures from the shoot came out and I could hardly wait to share them. And in the usual Towanda fashion, I was transparent about my past insecurities and I expressed them in the post pictured above.

“Once upon a time, I did not want my picture taken because I believed I was unattractive. I allowed negative people to influence my thoughts concerning me. I’ve risen above that and I’m still rising.”

– B.B.

When I was younger, I didn’t think I was photogenic—or even pretty. I didn’t like the reflection I saw when I looked in the mirror. I wished she looked differently. I wanted her skin to be lighter and covering a petite body frame. I wanted her smile to be perfect—pearly white without spaces. But that wasn’t my reflection then and it isn’t now. My reflection is that of a large-framed body covered by dark brown skin, whose smile isn’t pearly white or lacking of spaces. It is the reflection of me that I have learned to accept. I choose to embrace my large body frame and dark skin and define it as beautiful—not just in words—but in how I truly see myself. But how did I get here? I learned words have power.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”

Proverbs 18:21 KJV

My self-image began to turn for the better at 18. I encountered someone who spoke positive things to me about my appearance and my personality. I took those positive words to heart just as I did the negative ones years earlier. I nurtured the positivity, which enabled me to heal from the hurt the negativity caused when I was younger.

I’ve come to realize the words of Bethenny Frankel are true. I shine and see my beauty because I accept who I am. I’ve also embraced the importance of speaking positivity to myself and to others. When I accepted and believed the negative words from the people who tried to tear me down, I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t think I could be the center of positive attention or the object of someone’s affection—now I know better. I want to encourage everyone to accept themselves and shine brightly for the world to see. I want you to know you deserve kind words, affection, and love. This mindset will not stop the naysayers—but it will lower their volume.

Until the next time, be you—and most important—love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful. – B.B. 💋